just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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