I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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