she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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