And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
