I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
