I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
