Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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