sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
