I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
