but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
