I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
