Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
