Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
