Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
