I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
