The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
