I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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