Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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