I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
