oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
