Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
