if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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