ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
