$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
