I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
