Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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