I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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