Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
