sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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