"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
