In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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