btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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