so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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