Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didn't notice because vodka
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
