Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
