I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
