Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
