All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm going to jail i love you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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