i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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