angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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