She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
