what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Success! We fucked roommates!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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