just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
