swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
