piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
