i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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