I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
