Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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