oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
