Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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