I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
