But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
