Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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