I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
