well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
