SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
