You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
