its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
