You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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